:: thoughts from the heart, blotted by the hand ::
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Sunday, July 10, 2005
Helplessly in Vain

His familiar careless gestures welcomed me. His hug wasn't warm anymore, his kisses were rough and ungentle. His ways brought surprise to me; it wasn't the way it used to be. We quietly lay together in our own clandestine moments and I was thinking that he would be mine again. He harshly unleashed the mystery and gave me the thought that no matter what effort I show, he will never be the same again. He hurriedly brushed my hair with his immense, throbbing fingers. I burnt with sorrow while he burnt with infatuation. Tears from my eyes rolled down, then gone from his sight as they dried on his flesh, cotton shirt. He said he isn't ready yet to commit and those few words defined my tomorrow and the days after that. It was pure envy reigning over his head as he selfishly faked the words he thought would make me feel better. I was more than foolish those moments, I was indeed a rat tempted by a cheese, eventually falling for the trick despite the its consequences. He neatly lit another cigar, regardless of the puzzlement clearly painted on my face. I was trash and wasted as he relentlessly rushed me home and left me with nothing but more misery.

I am now secure, safely loved by this pretentious creature. I make believe his alluring words were genuine. I conceal my mind with a wonderful remembrance and cover my eyes with a strip of torn cloth and let my heart take over. I am slave to my feelings and his playful character... All for the sake of what they call devotion and for the chance to be fallen for in return.


-Tinay 10:33 PM links to this post |

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~*~I have my feet buried beneath sand, I have my mind burned with desire and I have my heart blistered with your broken promises~*~

* Dwelling in Ortigas * Seventeen has been the peak of my whole life * I love hanging out with my friends- as long as I am with them, I am content. * I'm in search of the thing that I am really good at. I've tried ballet, gymnastics, piano, cheerleading, etc. Just not my thing. * Currently into fencing, though. * I'm a proud Christian who declares her faith * A part of my heart belongs to Rob Sy * I study in DLSU-Manila * I'm a BS Psychology major * I have mood swing tendencies * I can be sociable * I can also be unsociable to people I dislike * Generally, I can get along with anyone * Just do not bitch around me * I'm usually playing pool at Katipunan, Tomas, Metrowalk, Makati or Timog area * or I would probably be spotted seated at a resto bar or a coffee shop * I enjoy going to the movies * I am kind of tired of the night life * I'd rather be burnt with stress than be buried in boredom * I listen to house music most of the time * I enjoy traveling * Especially trips to the beach * I'm a frustrated writer * Being a cardiologist is my ultimate dream * School sucks especially when I dislike the teacher + subject * I can be a jealous person at times * There are times when I suffer from extreme paranoia * You may hate me for some things but I assure you that I am not a hypocrite * I'm suffering in a major college crisis * Help anyone? * I'll update this soon *

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