:: thoughts from the heart, blotted by the hand ::

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Thursday, July 07, 2005

Of Heartaches

I've been infatuated for quite a number of months and have been in love for nearly a year- with a man who doesn't speak a word about it at all. It was as if he was doing it for a reason probably to drive away from commitments and you know how things get tangled up when you’re attached like a battle with no surrender, a clown losing its humor. I pretty much feel the same way for he never said words of gratitude for the simplest favors I carry out for him. He's sightless about the spark my eyes clearly show; pitiful for my effort that desperately embraces his ego; numb to feel how great I truthfully believe that the two of us spell out the noun belongingness. It's ironic how I manage to stay in love even more each day. How can I devote myself to a man who advises me to write the story of my tragedy to "Maalaala Mo Kaya" every time I ask how much I mean to him? How can I care for a man who always tells me how dense and foolish I get whenever I seek attention from him? How can I constantly let my heart reign over my mind when every beat it sheds out screams mourns of agony in heartaches? His poisoning scent becomes more addicting than paranoia. His hurtful words uttered by a terribly-husked pitch rewind in my head. His heinous shortcomings haunt my daydreaming minutes. My story ends here, as a fruitless romantic. I shall never quest to be loved by him for he shall never learn the art of loving a helpless woman. I shall walk through confusion- looking forward for his warm embrace and looking back at a dull past; also stealing glimpses beside my shadow that whispers that we shall never be...

-Tinay 9:04 PM |

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know

~*~I have my feet buried beneath sand, I have my mind burned with desire and I have my heart blistered with your broken promises~*~

* Dwelling in Ortigas * Seventeen has been the peak of my whole life * I love hanging out with my friends- as long as I am with them, I am content. * I'm in search of the thing that I am really good at. I've tried ballet, gymnastics, piano, cheerleading, etc. Just not my thing. * Currently into fencing, though. * I'm a proud Christian who declares her faith * A part of my heart belongs to Rob Sy * I study in DLSU-Manila * I'm a BS Psychology major * I have mood swing tendencies * I can be sociable * I can also be unsociable to people I dislike * Generally, I can get along with anyone * Just do not bitch around me * I'm usually playing pool at Katipunan, Tomas, Metrowalk, Makati or Timog area * or I would probably be spotted seated at a resto bar or a coffee shop * I enjoy going to the movies * I am kind of tired of the night life * I'd rather be burnt with stress than be buried in boredom * I listen to house music most of the time * I enjoy traveling * Especially trips to the beach * I'm a frustrated writer * Being a cardiologist is my ultimate dream * School sucks especially when I dislike the teacher + subject * I can be a jealous person at times * There are times when I suffer from extreme paranoia * You may hate me for some things but I assure you that I am not a hypocrite * I'm suffering in a major college crisis * Help anyone? * I'll update this soon *

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