I haven't blogged for a long time and I have lots to spill....

Bear with me because September showered me with boulders and I'm definitely not in the mood to count my blessings like how retreat master taught us.

Every girl reaches the point in her life where she experiences pure bliss- no bad shot, no cold relationships, no single trace of stress in your academic existence, I mean, all good things that an average high school stud slash bum slash party animal can wish for. I've been thankful for that but I didn't know that it had a price to pay.

You probably know what I'm talking about. It's either you've been here or it's yet too soon to come. Fate designs its own path that would surely not fail to run over you. There's no way out. You would really meet people who would betray you. Even the most trusted ones can. I thought we found a sense of security in him, I thought he could somehow compensate her wrongdoings in our past year. Ooh, we are wrong. Betrayal is such a strong word; but it perfectly fits him.

Detail by detail, you would understand but I won't get to that. I'll simply bore the hell out of you if I do so. To cut it short, September's been a fucked up month and it doesn't end right then and there.

I can't wait until I get my feet on university grounds. I couldn't wait until I could enjoy a simple freedom. I just want the nosy world out of my life. I just want that piece of security that could linger in my mind whenever I do wrong. I just want a small sense of privacy that had been slipping through my fingers all throughout my high school life. I don't want any more YLC's, advisers and counselors. I am my own dictator. I am old enough to know what I must do. It's just that my hands cannot reach out to that guidance. I need to make mistakes to learn. I need to sin to grow. I need to cry to move on. I need not listen to more sermons they have to say because I already heard enough and they don't need to rub it in my face.

I'm still thankful. I know I'd be looking back at this once I enter one of the thousand doors. "I'd laugh at this," I say to myself. I know I will. I still have a lot ahead of me and a mere negative experience cannot hold me from being a cardiologist (columnist is fine).

I have my family, my friends, Rob and my God. Disregard all shit that happened because it's already there. Go on with my life. It is still beautiful.

Archived Pictures (What's left in my picture chest?)