Monday, February 28, 2005
Saturdays are meant for bar hopping. First stop was Phi Bar in Metrowalk for a decent BOTTLE[without an s] of SMB Light. Next was Basement in Libis which was literally a skin to skin and sweat to sweat setting. So I left. :D
I miss myself being a homebuddy :(
I feel more relieved that way.. If only you and I are still together....
Me, Johann, Grace and Xandra
[Johann, I hate your haircut now. It was hella better when you where still an MTV VJ! Your Afro rocked!!]
Pau and me
-Tinay 5:49 PM
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BEHIND THE SMILE
There is a secret behind every smile and i'll tell you mine...
You see me laugh,but glee is seen through one's eyes, not lips.
You hear me giggle, but every syllable I utter is a scream from my deepest anxieties.
Then you see me smile, but every mirth that comes from my lips is a shriek of pain and anguish.
I am deperate to gather the strength to eventually untie my heart from the memoirs of the past, to outdo the ache haunting my mind at night but your face still lingers in my thoughts echoing the smirk on your cheek.
You see me shout with joy but you can't heed the whispers of my clandestine desires..
And you would never know.. coz you already closed your eyes for you to see. I am left with nothing but to cry...
I know that somewhere, out there is someone who listens to my calling. Please save me from this misery. I'm in great need right now.
mood: in the depths of despair
-Tinay 12:07 AM
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Saturday, February 26, 2005
The night before our Gawad Kalinga Project, I was chilling in Ipanema with my usual gimmick buddies. I got home at 4am and remembered I got a school activity later on at 7am!!! I hated everything that would eat up my sleeping time because I am already stressed about my piled-up schoolwork. I was forced to get up and attend but during the outreach, I realized that it is truly worthwhile. It was a heartwarming feeling to teach these kids knowing that they would probably be successful in the future. i felt lucky about my present situation but felt luckier because I was given a chance to share what I got with these unfortunate kids. Not all have the blessing PLUS the heart :D
YOU COULD ZOOM IN THE PIC TO TAKE A BETTER LOOK :D
Me and Jamaica [one of the kids we played with]
Trina [in white] Yzel [in pink] and Me [in pink and with a cap] with one of the families we chatted with
-Tinay 5:17 PM
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Friday, February 25, 2005
You can't trust a pretty face and I've proved it several times already. Statistics from T9 Laboratory shows that 9 out of 10 hunks have big heads. Lucky for the chicks out there who fished the remaining 10% of the male species. The next guy I'd be eyeing on would definitely got nothing but the inside. Back to being crushless :) Haha! Simply hating my "singledom."
-Tinay 1:00 AM
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Thursday, February 24, 2005
Loser!
Like a child, I tripped on my mary janes and bruised my knees in school.
Last night, I worked on my paper until 2 am but only finished the intoductory part. That's how slow I am.. or I really want it to be perfect. It's hard to please my English teacher. As if she knows too much. *GRR!*
That's the story behind it. I lacked 4 more hours of sleep that's why I practically lost the stamina and balance of my legs. Boo!!!
Long weekend update:
Friday [February 25] Eastwood with the gals!
Saturday [February 26] Metrowalk Exclusive Phi Party Woohoo! :P
see yah guys on these dates!
-Tinay 6:57 PM
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Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Pissed! Pissed!!
mood: troubled and insane
If obsession could kill, I'd be dead by now.
I never felt this way.. What's with you???
He acts weird. At times, it seems what he have is mutual but now..
My crush apparently likes another girl. I assume. . Well it appears that way.
How bad could this get??! ...
-Tinay 9:54 PM
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Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Pics!!!
Ina and Me before our JS Turnover
Trixie, Me, RianThis is a weird pic.. My friend said I look Japanese .. ?!!!
Good friend Al and me in Xavier Prom
[February 19]
in VBar
Me and Pao before shoot
-Tinay 10:11 PM
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Ugh!!!!! I'm deeply sorry.. If you could find that space in your heart to forgive me..
When you are already hurt, you end up getting hurt even more.
This is a note from a friend of mine whom I didn't mean to crush its heart..
From the guy I unintentionally hurt:
It was Valentines Day; I have tulips clutched in my
hand, fully determined to give it to someone Ive
only known for a week. A declaration of love in a
gift from a lover as its symbolism says. She was
the second girl I have decided to give flowers to in
my entire life. The girl who suddenly came in so
strong and rekindled my heart, my heart that I
thought will never fall again after being hurt from my
past love.
Somehow, I felt a strong connection with her. And
for a short span of time, I can say that I truly care
about her. I was really excited in meeting her for
the second time after having promised her that this
time our rendezvous will be perfect. The day was
full of anticipation. I wasnt sure what was going to
happen. I dont know how we will meet and I dont
know how it will turn out. All I know is I just want to
see her that day, talk to her, and just be with her.
She said she couldnt meet that day, and wanted
to be alone. I didnt understand why till I read this
"I would rather spend this day home alone, loving
myself instead of dating a guy I would not want to
love. " These words came from the girl I cared
dearly and is most special to me. Now I
understand Why you suddenly disappeared and
took my heart away just as fast as when you came
into my life and made me believe youre going to
give me yours For a while, I really thought youre
the one Goodbye, take care of yourself.
I end up losing one's trust, worry and most especially a friend.
Does one end up hurting another inadvertantly because she got harmed in the past?
Is this an endless cycle of getting hurt and hurting others?
-Tinay 6:14 PM
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Monday, February 21, 2005
Song for You
Mike, baby.. This is my song for you.. Yes, I would officially take you out of my life..
Doin' Just Fine
Boyz II Men
There was a time when I thought life was over and out,
When you went away from me,
My dying heart made it hard to breathe.
Would sit in my room,
Because I didn't want to have to go out,
And see you walking by,
One look and I'd break right down and cry.
Now you say that you made a big mistake,
Never meant to take your love awway,
But you can save your tired apologies,
'Cause it may seem hard to believe but....
CHORUS:
I'm doin' just fine,
Getting along very well without you in my life.
I don't need you in my life.
I'm doin' just fine,
Time made me stronger,
You're no longer on my mind.
You were my Earth,
My number one priority.
Gave my love to only you,
Anything you'd ask of me I would do.
But somewhere down the road,
You felt a change in the weather
And told me that you had to journey on.
A kiss in the wind and your love was gone.
Now you say you never meant to play your games,
But girl don't you know it's far too late,
Because you let our love just fall apart,
You no longer have my heart.
REPEAT CHORUS.
BRIDGE:
When you said goodbye, I felt so all alone.
There were times at night I couldn't sleep,
My heart was much too weak to make it on my own.
Baby after all the misery and pain you put me through,
So unfair to me girl, you're no longer my world,
And I ain't missing you.
REPEAT CHORUS.
AD LIB:
See baby when you walked away,
You didn't think it would end up this way.
But I knew you'd come around some day,
Just as sure as my name is Wanya.
It's kind of funny.. Now that I am a step away from your love, you are coming back to me.. *laughs*
-Tinay 1:17 PM
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Yuck!
I am completely turned off by this guyI've been eyeing on. Yeah, yeah... He has the looks alright, but gets a big fat F in attitude. Turns out he's really mayabang, arrogant and insensitive.. Enough about the details he might be reading this one right now..
And if you are, let me tell you this... YOU FEEL YOU ARE SO IMPORTANT AND PEOPLE LOOK UP TO YOU! THINK AGAIN..
-Tinay 12:55 PM
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Sunday, February 20, 2005
Mara and Me in Club Embassy
Trina and Me in VBar
Xandra and Me in school Knollers baby!
Embassy story. The truth behind it.
As Mara and I were on our way to Embassy, which was not yet open for the public, we were both thrilled. Indeed it is a fab place with good food, perfect music and great people to share exciting conversations with.
Everyone was having a blast until a gatecrasher hit Richard from the back. The dude ran. Grr!! Man instincts?.. You know what happens next. You judge :D
So it's not really his fault.
-Tinay 9:54 PM
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I hate being alone. Coz when I am, I always end up thinking about my deepest fantasies that came to an end. All the heartaches he brought me, the countless tears that flowed from my eyes. How could the person you love the most be unworthy of you? And should one accept the pain brought to her because love conquers all?? HELP!!!
Teach me to get over him. Forget all the memories painted on my heart.. and finally erase every single trace of his scent that drives me crazy.... until now :(
What about you? Do you feel empty too?
-Tinay 4:26 PM
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The night's over and I cannot take what occured in my friend's prom night. I was his date and I feel really guilty about how I acted. I seemed quiet and irritable than usual, he noticed that and blamed himself. I feel so bad. I just ruined my friend's night by thinking of THE EX 24/7, who was indeed in Sibil that same moment, probably dancing the night away with bitches on both sides.
Greenbelt after party. Met a couple of friends. Met new friends. Met a crush. None seemed to be enough for me to overlook memories of GB. Yes, I met HIM in GB. And we used to go to GB a lot.
Al, sweetie, thank you for making a wonderful sketch of me and I'm sorry about how wrong your prom went.
-Tinay 1:40 PM
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Saturday, February 19, 2005
Tia Maria's Cantina is the place to be!! I'm happy I got to meet my old friend Bea Rod there, though I wasn't expecting to see my buddy in her current condition :) After months of being distant, I finally heard Bei in her usual high-toned voice saying the same insulting words to her long-time foe. HAHA!
It's been a long time since I've sat my butt in one of Katipunan's tambayans.. (By the way, I was with Ingrid, Ina, Xandra, Grace, Paola, Bea, Bax, Jom, Rian, Kathy and still met a few more... )For those who know me, you definitely know what I'm talking about.. For those who don't, let me explain.. Ever since my ex-boyfriend and I got together, I completely lost my social life. I really did. No guy friends, no saying hello to old guy friends, no new friends, no gimmicks, not even girls' night out... There are still more RULES. Those are just a few of the many. He's THAT strict. This is the first night I went to Katips carrying the name, TINAY: OFFICIALLY SINGLE :)
Back to my old self.. but still in search for the missing parts of me..
-Tinay 1:40 PM
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Friday, February 18, 2005
Despite the things that happened to me last January, I still find reasons to smile. Beacause of YOU, guys!! My friends!! I'll name all of you who inspired me to move on..
GOD
My Mom
(No specific order) *laughs*
Aldrich Go (You really make me smile)
Angel Dionisio (Because you fish around..)
Trina Buling (You are my giimmick buddies!)
Mike Martinez (Because you helped me get rid of HIM)
Yguel Tan (Because you said you are hot..haha!)
Ina Mislang (Because we all rock the dance floor)
Jennifer Dar (You guys are my bestfriends even though all of you are taken!!)
Thistle Guevarra
Karla Zulueta
Bea Rodriguez
Nikki Rapista
Trixie Venzon
Rian Espinosa
Kim Cruz (You guys are my love consultants!)
Ina de Guzman
Paola Palma
Jourd Magbanua (I owe you for the text messages we sent to him!)
Bianca Capiral
Tin Santos (Inspiring stories)
Trisha Sotto (You helped me with this layout! Hah!)
Because of you, I'm learning to find myself again. I owe you a lot.. Thanks so much!
-Tinay 3:45 PM
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It's the seventeenth today and he didn't even greet me. It is supposeD to be our sixth month together as a couple. (Why would he, anyway? We're not together now..) I just found myself in the middle of my illusion that he is still inlove with me. Apparently, he isn't anymore.*sighs*
So I am left with all the strangers in my friendster and myspace account who are pending for my approval. I am currently checking them one by one in search of a possible prospect. *wink* Haha!
I'm so bored right now that I am left with nothing but to share with you some pictures :)
I don't know how to get rid of those details at the bottom. :)
Anamay, Me, Pao
After the show: nightswimming! :D
Pao, Me
This is me endorsing the Nova commercial *wink*
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My bestfriend Mike and Me in Shangrila
Enough of this.. I'll get back at you when I find my senses back! :)
-Tinay 11:25 AM
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Hana, sweetie! Thank you for being the first commentator on my blog. I don't know how you find it.. But I'm thankful :) Thanks for the advice too!
-Tinay 10:27 AM
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Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Please read!!! This is my favorite post! :(
For My Anonymous Valentine..
On Valentines Day, one could expect the most romantic experience in her life. I didn't. I exactly knew what was going to happen from the minute I woke up to the very last breath I would take in my yielding classroom seat. However, I do not know what was going to happen after a frustrating day in school. I saw familiar faces as I walked towards my classroom. Familiar faces, I say; but strange reactions were painted on their faces. Everyone shared gifts. Some had flowers delivered to their classrooms; from their boyfriends, of course! Most received at least a rose from their closest friends. And passing notes scribbled in illegible handwritings were countless- it seemed to be the least thing to do for the people you care about. It was a nice state to look at but if you were to look in my heart, you would witness a broken trance..
Every minute of Valentines Day was like a hit on my thoughts, a slap on my face, the misery was so great that I nearly expired of envy- envy for those who had men who truly cared about how they feel. After all the hurting I experienced, there was one left to be grateful about. I am happy that we are going to meet up and because of this; I have turned down every person who asked me out for a decent celebration of Cupids Day. This is nothing to argue about. I would rather spend this day home alone, loving myself instead of dating a guy I would not want to love. At the back of my mind, I knew something was going to happen because he once said that he has a surprise for me on the fourteenth.
Yes, there was. His basketball training as his priority before me is of course valid. (as he always says.) He has gone here for not more than an hour to listen to my heart faintly beat, moan in agony, and cry hopelessly. Breaking a womans sentiment on Love Day was truly a surprise!!!
He has gone sooo fast. So soon that I wasnt given the chance to bid the last words of the broken dreams I built with him. I am left with no choice but hug him tenderly and kiss his soft lips for the last time. I know he tasted my tears, tears that included the final weep, romance and hope. I knew that this was the last time he would cry along with me. After this long elevator ride with him, I would finally learn to move on. I would have to say goodbye to the man I thought I could spend eternity with. I would have to welcome each day and tomorrow independently, trying to separate myself from the memories present and dreams left unfulfilled.
He gave me roses. Pink roses, the ones I genuinely adored. It was his, indeed, the very last rose Id ever cherish.
-Tinay 11:33 AM
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Saturday, February 12, 2005
I was chatting with some baldie in iRC when I realized that hey, there are sensible people in chat, indeed. He's all nice and witty... Definitely someone who could give appropriate advice. I told him about my bad breakup with my recent boyfriend and this is what he said.. him: though we live in a pretentious society where people wear mask to hide their insecuritiesevery person's face is a lie...him: that's why there is such a verb like "assuming"him: hehe...darn...did i eat crap for breakfast or wot?her: i dunno with u
her: my face aint a lie :)
him: u dont hafta say that dear
him: i got faith in u
him: like i've said
him: ur gona make sillier morons out of stooooooopid college boys when u turn 18
her: thanks sweetie :)
him: and then they'll worship u by the time u turn 21
her: i hope so.. coz my recent bf just turned me down
him: awwww.. m sori to hear that dear
him: dont worry
him: there will be better days
;)
her: im looking forward to that
her: seems like nothng's chnging
him: time heals all emotional scars
time helps
I hope everything he said is real...
-Tinay 7:05 AM
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Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Shit...
I never thought that a love so great can end in a split of a second. I always believed that our love was meant to go beyond forever.. even eternity.. I was wrong. All the dreams we built together are finally destroyed. All our hopes are shattered.. All the love has gone cold (for his part, at least).At times, you would think that reality is simply unjust. When you find yourself getting against all odds just to be with the one you love, you'd realize that you have turned down everything that makes your being because YOU ARE STUPID ENOUGH TO GIVE UP WHAT YOU ONCE CHERISHED-all because of an unworthy reason.Don't think you have won this game. It is still not over until one of us surrenders. Even though you've hurt me several times, you taught me one thing: how to be stronger.The pity is not on me. In fact it is on you. Because you have given up a person who once believed in you but never will again. Farewell.To all of you who read this and cares about us, please do respond :)
-Tinay 11:59 AM
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Sunday, February 06, 2005
February 5 was an ultimate bar hopping for me and my friends. We first went to Ice Vodka Bar for some decent Winston lights. Drink. Drink. Drink. Then we went to Nuvo. Drink. Drink. Tipsy. Up next was Bora Bar. Drink. Dance. Drunk. Last was Racks and SideBar in El Pueblo. Drink. Dance. Drop.
Me and mah girls in Nuvo.
-Tinay 5:04 PM
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I'm just testing this Blogspot thing. Hopefully this is better than of those in Xanga's- which expires :) So can anyone please teach me how to upload pictures here? I don't know a thing!
-Tinay 4:23 PM
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