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Tuesday, May 31, 2005
prince of jaipur
i feel too lazy to post other pics.. i swear, pics in my photo bank are already piling up.. my infrared port is busted but will deal with that soon. past few days has been tiring. was in cantina last saturday (this was the revelation day with my review friends :[) then to katips for a pool game. i've beaten a guy thrice. (yeah!) and finally to piere one and prince of jaipur that evening with my girlfriends. again, i was stag of the night. was in the fort, too yesterday coz i couldn't stand the boredom at home, mind you, i went there wearing house clothes. didn't really care, as long as i had something to see other than the walls of my room. i've seen house of wax thrice on three different days, i'm sick of it!! i've come close in memorizing their lines and knowing which part to close my eyes.. LOL.

summer is almost over but i'll end mine with a bang for sure!! i don't feel like going to 4th year anymore, i wanna go to college straight.. if only there's a way. i'm sick of seeing MC's muddy courts and old old old classrooms. plus i heard it already ran out of good teachers. so there.. that's about it..

mood: loveless.. haha


-Tinay 9:10 PM links to this post |

Thursday, May 26, 2005
Ever After

Three years ago, my journey began
Chasing down with you, no plan in hand
Just your pulse, my raising guide in the dark
Just no win with conviction from the start

The moment your eyes made an introduction
I found my second value in the breath of life
Flawless to the point of being collie
I fell all for, your imperfections

And now its like the weather is slightly warmer
Hands gripped together, eye to eye through the storm, yeah
I still believe in ever after, with you
Cause life is a pleasure with you by my side
And there aint no pourin', in this rainbow weekend ride
I still believe in ever after, with you

Nothing compares to the good times
Feels like were floating when the rest have to climb
You made me believe in love and all the perfect kind
A real messy beautiful twisted sunshine

Emotions I gave it eruptions
We both still care, so its still alive
Tunnel vision, determination
I want you; I want to make it right

And now its like the weather is slightly warmer
Hands gripped together, eye to eye through the storm, yeah
I still believe in ever after, with you
Cause life is a pleasure with you by my side
And there aint no pourin', in this rainbow weekend ride
I still believe in ever after, with you


-Tinay 10:51 PM links to this post |

Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Living free..

I've been to busy lately. Yeah, busy finding myself and it has done no good at all. I realized you can't find a piece of yourself when the fucking world is hiding it from you. I was admitted in the hospital last Friday til Sunday. Being injected many times sucked, being unable to move around pissed me off, being confined in a four-cornered room killed me and to top it all off, some person in my love history completely ruined the remaining days of my summer. I knew it right from the start. I shouldn't put myself into situations I can't get out of. Now, I'm stuck and left hanging when it should be the other way around. I thought God has good karma for me the second time around. I'm back to the days when I would "stick" my lungs out and worry myself over the past that will never come back, things that I've hoped for but is far from happening. I'm happy that I have review school friends who have been distracting me psychologically coz of their crazy ideas but this weekend, it will all come to an end. Again, I'm left alone in my suicidal world. I wanna get lost with someone.. To live a life without rules.. No limitations.. Yung tipong you're driving on a zigzag road towards a mountain and you're on the passenger seat screaming the lyrics the CD's playing. Tas itatapon niyo cel niyo sa dagat. No calls from parents, no civilization, to live in the outside world. Gusto kong maghubad at humiga sa damo, manood ng stars or ng sunset. Gusto kong lamukin, ubuhin at maligo sa ulan, banggain kotse ko at limutan lahat ng problema. I wanna be free.. I want to discover what I lived for. I want to find the parts of myself that he took. Look into yourself, I know you want that too. The world has been too tiring and stressing already. There's been no room for relaxation and peace. If I were to be born again, I'd pick to be a mountain person. They are happy with what they are and what they have. The philosopher in me said that happiness comes from wanting what you have and not having what you want. We all deserve that kind of life but the barriers that hinder me from freedom are the rules set by other people. I'm just afraid with what they would think of me, when in fact all I want is peace of mind. Why do people have to judge you when in fact they don't know a shit about you? Where do you find the place wherein you could deeply reflect without anyone dictating what you must do? Where do you find yourself? Or is it just meant not to show up until you give up and surrender yourself to the cruel world? I'm terribly lost. I need someone. Just one. Urgent. I can't hold on anymore.



-Tinay 7:00 PM links to this post |

Monday, May 23, 2005
I've leaned about this girl who was intimately in love with a boy who never really returned the love she gave. The girl grew in that relationship believing that the boy's feelings towards her were sincere. Boy was abrasive and rude to the point that he physically hurts the girl. I recall the time he practically demanded her to step out of his speeding car. Not to mention the day when the girl knew about the boy's sexual involvement with a prostitute (occurred during courtship days). Girl considered her boyfriend's curses and bad mouthing as a habit. She took every nasty word he said. She completely swallowed her pride leaving nothing behind but her saliva too slick of asking the boyfriend's whereabouts. Her ears were too tired of hearing excuses that were evidently and effortlessly made up. Her eyes were blinded by the things she wants to believe about their relationship. Her friends, of course gave words of ditching him. They sounded easy to accomplish but none succeeded in implanting human rights on the pitiful girl. Many times did the boy breakup with her with no apparent reason, yes, simply because "he needed space"- the familiar words of the many effortless men. She was left with no choice but to accept the bitter end of their togetherness. She tried to move on, writing entries about inspirational experiences in her life, particularly commenting about the the beauty of what's left in this world of players and lies. She wrote pieces about people wearing masks knowing behind her mind that she was just one of them. Girl was merely tired of loving. It became addictive for her, it was just too painful. The gaping hole in her heart the boy left was never filled. Though it was complemented by a number of suitors, she would never love again. The sad part was, loving had become her chief trauma. The boy came around again, wanted her back. She never learned her lesson.. There she went, ready to fall in love in the flames of hell.. risking what's left of her mistreated body. Do you know who she is?... I do..


-Tinay 7:45 PM links to this post |

Friday, May 13, 2005
My crush texted me last night. *Giggles* ...


-Tinay 11:37 PM links to this post |

Thursday, May 12, 2005
Ginebra's commercial: Bilog ang mundo is indeed = Libog ang mundo. Pardon me, but it's really implying that phrase. There's a subliminal message that most people overlook. Just analyze what the commercial was trying to get to you. With the sexy girls and all.. You're starting to make sense now, Mr. Cartman :P

Admit it, you didn't know, right? :D


-Tinay 1:42 AM links to this post |

Monday, May 09, 2005
Trying to live a lain low life. They say the simpler you turn your life into, then good things that would come will be appreciated more. I've always lived life to its maximum complexities so basically this has been the root to my occasional unhappiness. Been listing down things to smile about and so far it's working :) My line's cut. Yeah, exceeded my credit limit again. Been sending useless quotes to almost everyone on my phonebook, I'd be using my prepaid number temporarily.

Welcome back, life!!! I've lost you for quite some time and I'm glad I have been bringing the pieces back together. Nothing can take you away from me again. Especially not now that I've learned to become stronger...


-Tinay 7:56 PM links to this post |

Friday, May 06, 2005
A Story about Pretension

After a heartache, you end up wearing a mask to let people think that everything's okay but in reality, you're dying inside. You make yourself look perfectly fine when in fact only a fake smile and silly chinks on your eyes are plastered on your face. It's better to let it out coz when you do, you would achieve that peace of mind and start finding that piece of yourself that man took. It's funny coz no matter how ridiculous you appear to be, people hardly notice. They don't see the miseries you keep, the anguish hidden beneath your plastic face, the hurtful words that rewind in your mind, the tears that invisibly fall from your feeble eyes and the cries you countlessly screamed.. The sad part of this is, you are the only one who hears the shrieks of pain and the tears that die on your lips are as salty as the Dead Sea. Yet, in their eyes, you are that perfect person you try to appear to be. You secretly wish they'd get a hint but everyone's too busy pretending, as well. Life is nothing but a matter of surviving a fucked up world. Thanks, anyway. I've always been thankful no matter how God already showered me with stones (boulders, rather.)

This is a poem specially made for me by a close friend who knows my deepest insights.
Untitled by Mark Reymel Ocampo

This is the last kiss of your rain.
Not tempted by one single candy cane.
The first cut is the deepest.
Someday you will lay into rest.

My fingers are amulets.
They're always crossed.
Your fingers are daggers.
And it was your loss



-Tinay 10:00 PM links to this post |

Monday, May 02, 2005
May Mayhem!

Last Friday was spent in Ipanema with Ina, Enzo and Kim. Was bored at home so at 12am I finally decided to go after debating myself. Went there the day after too, with Kenson, Markus and Christine. Ipanema blues are driving me crazy. For the next few weeks, I'd absent myself there first, I'm sick of it!

Early Bell

Review classes started today and I can't believe I don't belong to the same section as Nikki's, Bryan's and Thistle's. It's a long UPCAT review, I must say, 26 sessions spent half day is too much but that's a short span to study everything since the 1st year :) I wish school functions this way, as well LOLZ

Disappointed but not Bothered.

I'm quite disappointed with what I learned about a "friend." He seemed to be nice at first but when you get to know what's beneath his skin, HAH! He's one of those G.I.s I previously talked about. That's life, people have the freedom to choose their own gods. In his case, money was the subject to be worshipped. I'm completely blew off by this attitide. No more chinks for you, Tinay!

If I were to choose the song in this point of my life, it would be "It's Like That" by Mariah. No time to cry, just making the most of life! That's how life should go, anyway. (After you've already been through the shit, it's about time to have the clouds between your knees)



-Tinay 10:58 PM links to this post |

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VanitySpellsTinayV
~*~I have my feet buried beneath sand, I have my mind burned with desire and I have my heart blistered with your broken promises~*~

* Dwelling in Ortigas * Seventeen has been the peak of my whole life * I love hanging out with my friends- as long as I am with them, I am content. * I'm in search of the thing that I am really good at. I've tried ballet, gymnastics, piano, cheerleading, etc. Just not my thing. * Currently into fencing, though. * I'm a proud Christian who declares her faith * A part of my heart belongs to Rob Sy * I study in DLSU-Manila * I'm a BS Psychology major * I have mood swing tendencies * I can be sociable * I can also be unsociable to people I dislike * Generally, I can get along with anyone * Just do not bitch around me * I'm usually playing pool at Katipunan, Tomas, Metrowalk, Makati or Timog area * or I would probably be spotted seated at a resto bar or a coffee shop * I enjoy going to the movies * I am kind of tired of the night life * I'd rather be burnt with stress than be buried in boredom * I listen to house music most of the time * I enjoy traveling * Especially trips to the beach * I'm a frustrated writer * Being a cardiologist is my ultimate dream * School sucks especially when I dislike the teacher + subject * I can be a jealous person at times * There are times when I suffer from extreme paranoia * You may hate me for some things but I assure you that I am not a hypocrite * I'm suffering in a major college crisis * Help anyone? * I'll update this soon *

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